I watched several videos on Cardrunners site recently - all on the topic of "brain fail." Essentially, the instructor covered a bunch of concepts about how the human mind reacts to various situations/stress. It's incredibly well put together and was exactly what I needed. Unfortunately, a few videos don't translate into jack squat financially. Maybe long-term, but in the short term I'm still getting my face punch-a-sized.
Honestly, it's beginning to really feel like I'm lying to myself. Like I was just lucky before and the results I'm seeing now are the way it should've been all along. I'm constantly checking and re-checking my bust hands to see if I actually did the correct shove/call AND to see if I didn't completely misread the cards and shove something ridiculous (nope, still shoved JJ and lost to 44...again). I know this is just variance. I know it will turn around. I also know that, just like the last 3 weeks, I again lost 11 of my 28 80/20s. I shouldn't have looked b/c I just get more frustrated seeing those results.
The worst of it, though, is that it's definitely having an effect on my mood. When this started, for probably the first 2 to 3 weeks I could shake it off and no one could really tell how the day had gone. Now I find myself not wanting to do anything except sulk or study more hands and late-game scenarios (ok, that's not entirely true...it just takes a lot longer than it should to get my head right again). My sessions are getting shorter b/c I can't seem to take the frustration. My last session tonight lasted 15 minutes (pathetic city) only because I couldn't handle losing KK to AK on two bubbles and QQ to AQ on the last - with the shorty having no more than 150 chips on any of the 3.
Anyway, I'm going to Orange County for the weekend. Yay. Then I'll come back and play again. Maybe Emo kid will go be emo somewhere else by then.
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